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Bank Fraud and How I Almost Lost My Job (More Adventures At The Bank)

June 10, 2008

I wake up to the salty smell of the ocean at my left.
The air is warm, sticky, but very welcoming.

To my right, he lies,
Calmly watching me with longing in his eyes.

I smile, blow him a kiss.

He catches it with his right hand,
then places it in his left pocket,
close to his heart.

He says, “this way I’ll always have a piece of you with me.”

I close my eyes once more,
smiling.

Again, the salty air and gentle ocean waves invite me to dream.

————————
Uh…yea….that’s where I wished I was last Thursday afternoon but unfortunately I was at work at that God-forsaken bank.

The day had gone by pretty smoothly. There were, of course, the minor hitches; a crazy customer here and there, but nothing too crazy and distinctive enough to be noted. That is, until the end of the day when closing time arrived and as the door was being closed, a customer decided that it would be the perfect time to ruin my day.

The lady, who is black, looked pretty normal except that she was a bit shaky when talking to me, but after she explained that her sister recently died, I dismissed it.

She initially wanted to get a $10,000 cashier’s check but my laziness and the fact that we were already closed and I wanted to go home pretty much saved me my job: I lied and told her that the checks had already been put away for the day, that she should come back the next day. She said okay and decided to withdraw $1500.

After giving me her account number and driver’s license, I looked up the information to confirm that it matched what we had on our computers. The only things that didn’t match were the address on her ID and the address on our system. I asked her if she moved and she said, “yes, I just moved from [the address on our system].” Ok, cool, everything was good, all the information matched what we had on our system…even the signatures matched!

So I gave her the money.

She started toward the door but decided that she needed to make a phone call to her “sister” whom she was “assisting financially.” She used our phone to call the person and apparently the person needed money to pay for rent so she decided to withdraw some more money.

That’s where she made a mistake.

She came back to me with a withdrawal slip for $1000 and of course I didn’t hesitate in doing it since the information matched. Then right before the transaction was completed a high cash transaction alert appeared, which would require an override from my supervisor.

My supervisor came, looked at the lady’s ID and the information on the computer and started asking her questions. The woman had the Social Security number, the address, the phone numbers, EVERYTHING! By now she started sensing that something was wrong…hell, I started sensing that something was wrong because of the way she started fidgeting and going in and out of her purse. And of course something was wrong when she was asked about the other name on the account and she couldn’t give the name.

My supervisor, being the smart person she is, decided that she would make a copy of the ID. In order to not rouse the woman’s suspicion, she told her that she needed to go to the back to get the manager’s signature. The woman was too smart for that though; she said no, that she wanted her ID back. My supervisor, though, said, “no it’s fine, I’ll be right back.”

At this time, the woman starts running at full speed toward the door and I, being the non-thinking Superwoman that I am, decided to run after her. I don’t know why I did it but once the adrenaline started pumping I just couldn’t be stopped. I was yelling “Ma’am, you’re forgetting your ID!…” Anything to get her to come back in. But it didn’t work. She ran into the passenger seat of a car and the driver, a man, put the car in reverse and drove up a one-way street, hitting several cars that were coming toward him.

I managed to get the license plate number. But then it hit me that she could have had a gun or something, it wasn’t my money so why was I chasing her?

When the police arrived, they checked the information on the ID and discovered that the ID was fake, and that the license plate number did not match the car that we described…and not only that, but the account actually belonged to a white woman that had lost her wallet over a year ago.

So…I guess they got away with $1500.

Lucky for me though, because I had checked and confirmed all the information the lady gave me while doing the transaction, I didn’t get in trouble, or even worse–fired.

Thank God my laziness prevented me from giving her the $10,000 cashier’s check. Lord knows what would have happened then.

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17 Comments leave one →
  1. June 10, 2008 2:58 PM

    Wow! Sometimes being lazy can serve you well:- – – -My mom hates filling the gas tank full because she hates to buy gas and then have the price drop the next day. So the night before our van was stolen my dad (who hates a gas tank that’s almost empty) reminded my mom that she’d have to fill it soon and she said she would on her way home from work.While she was at work, my brother, who was at home, got a visit from the cops that someone with our license plate number from our home addres just got gas and didn’t pay. My brother freaks and calls my mom at work to ask why she didn’t pay for her gas and of course, she runs outside to check that our van is still there and it’s not!If she had filled up sooner, the criminals would have driven away and ended up God knows where and would not have had to stop for gas, and gotten caught on the gas station’s camera.- – – -You were brave, chasing her down but yeah, next time you should be careful, just in case she did have a gun. I bet it was instinct though.I’m so glad you avoided the loss of 10K!

  2. June 10, 2008 4:11 PM

    wow…thank god for you…I dont even want to imaine what would have happened if she took a cashier’s check for ten grand…hmmn…this is a classic case of “akoba adaba oloun maje ari!”

  3. June 10, 2008 5:27 PM

    Eh hen? Jesu Kristi! I thank God you are okay. Thieves are brave nowadays oh. That is how you would have given her 10000 so that they can gbese you at the bank. God forbid.But, my dear, which back do you work at, so me too I can come and collect free money? lol! Only $500, now.

  4. June 10, 2008 5:52 PM

    Meeeeeen Rayo, wow! That was close…..I am imagining what you would have done if you had caught that woman though. Strangled her to the ground? Given her some helluva beating? Anyway, some other time, I guess. Be careful ooooh, abeg.Thanks for your message, good to know I have some similarities with your dad.

  5. June 11, 2008 11:47 AM

    wow…babes….open your ears…please we are still loving you biko…no more super woman stunts…if you feel the adrenaline pumping, take a deep breath and sit back…

  6. June 11, 2008 11:56 AM

    that was brave of u, and i think it’ll be anyone’s initial rxn in such a situation… we dont like to see pple cheat us (even though it’s not yur money…lol) or sth…i like that image u wrote about first, got me dreaming at work…and i like ur thread on 14th.

  7. June 11, 2008 1:15 PM

    daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaamn

  8. June 11, 2008 1:50 PM

    adrenalin is good babe but let it not pump when it comes to chasing thieves…..thank God for laziness….stay u…..

  9. June 12, 2008 3:00 PM

    Lol @ all of your comments!@ GNG-Laziness helps sometimes doesn’t it? Wow that’s crazy. My mom’s car was stolen from her job so I definitely know how you guys felt. Thank God you guys got the car back.@Charizard-I don’t even want to think about what would have happened? I would have probably wound up taking a trip to the unemployment line.@Solomonsydelle-I’ll give you a hint, it’s CCB@Andy-Some other time?! You want me to get killed? Never again!@Afrobabe-Thanks, I’ll do that next time…well, hopefully there won’t be a next time. I’ve learned my lesson.@Smaragd-I’m glad I could help someone get away from work if only for a moment. Thanks for liking it.@T-Boogie-I know right???@Ibiluv-Thank God for laziness is correct! All those that accuse me of being too lazy can kiss my arse.

  10. June 12, 2008 6:57 PM

    1st of all, Welcome back. If anybody has missed you in this whole wide blogville, its me…A Mishu!!!Anyways, back to the story…WTF? you and this bank sef. And then you decided to go JAmes Bond Ehn? i told you, we should act our own action movie.Thank God for Laziness. Now i dont feel so bad about being a tad lazy. Thanks!!

  11. June 14, 2008 8:41 AM

    Woooow Rayo! Super-woman indeed…..just don’t get ur ass shot, lol. We love you [not] and still need u around, lol.

  12. June 15, 2008 12:36 PM

    @Incog-My dear Incog-A MISHU TOO BOO!!! We need to hang out soon.@Theperfectionist-Wait, you love me [not]? Wait, what do I have to do to earn your love?

  13. June 18, 2008 10:56 AM

    You know…..that’s why He is simply incomprehendible. He sure guides our every move.

  14. June 19, 2008 7:49 PM

    @Rethots-He surely does…

  15. August 22, 2008 2:23 PM

    What kind of dumb ass comment is this one? You r lucky you r anon stupid.Why dont you just fucking open your own fucking blog and post this shit on there?The girl said “lose all inhibitions here…but dont get carried away”…you my friend did not only get carried the fuck away, you lost your mind while you were at it…mschew!!@ everybody: sorry jare…this mumu just got on my nerves. I was just checking only to realize the mess that this fool put here. Its not about the content cos i did not read it but damn!!

  16. March 12, 2009 12:08 AM

    great blog u got here I managed to get the license plate number. But then it hit me that she could have had a gun or something, it wasn’t my money so why was I chasing her?I laughed so loud when I read this comment!! ur to funny omo!anyways check out my blog n leave a comment chow!

  17. February 18, 2010 12:38 PM

    LMAO!

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