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Does This Make Me A Kleptomaniac?

February 1, 2008

So…my dad called me this morning to yell at me because he wanted to know why the hell I had a street sign in my room. lol

On December 3, 2007, I did something bad…I stole…

So, I have a list of things I have to do before I turn 30…and on that list was “steal a street sign.” Being the adventurous kid that I am, the moment of truth came on a very windy day when I drove down my street and saw that the street name sign had fallen. My mind immediately went to that list and I knew what I would have to do. It wasn’t a “Stop” sign or a “Curve ahead” sign or anything like that…nothing that could cause an accident if removed; it was just the street name sign…my street. I continued driving, and throughout the day I pretty much forgot about the sign.

Then later at night I was driving back home and saw the sign again. In my head a voice screamed, ‘Do it now!’

So I stopped the car, oblivious to the fact that if anyone looked out of their window or drove by, they would’ve seen me taking the sign (thank God I was wearing all black that day).

It was a pretty quick operation though. I felt like 007 on a deadly mission: I ran to the sign; picked it up (it was much bigger and heavier than i expected); and crammed it into the back seat of the car. Only one car drove by but I don’t think the driver noticed anything. I ran into the driver’s seat….then began to LAUGH!! No, not a fiendish giggle, but a maniacal guffaw similar to those of comic book archenemies. Gosh I couldn’t control it…I felt such a rush of adrenaline…it felt good.

I got home, slipped into the garage, and tiptoed into my room, where I hid the sign in my closet (because I realized that there was nothing else I could do with it without rousing suspicion from my parents).

Every time I drove past the bare, sign-less pole, I would laugh to myself and think, “hehe, that’s my handiwork.”

They eventually replaced the sign about 3 weeks later though so it was all good.

But I just have one question: Does the fact that I got such a rush out of the whole thing make me a kleptomaniac in training?

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39 Comments leave one →
  1. February 1, 2008 2:17 PM

    lol!something i could do!your blog fine ooo!!

  2. February 1, 2008 2:50 PM

    Hahhahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa…You are crazy girl….I stole panties yesterday…a friend sent me some money from Nigeria to get her stuff and when I got home the bra’s panties were missing,cant go back and tell them that so stole one from the same shop…wonder what I would have said if they had caught me…imagine, not even for myself…

  3. February 1, 2008 5:27 PM

    LOL… ARE U SERIOUS?dats mad oh…

  4. February 1, 2008 5:36 PM

    Street sign, ke?

  5. February 1, 2008 8:55 PM

    well… may be not a ‘Klepto’ but certainly a wierdo! lol!!

  6. February 1, 2008 9:45 PM

    haha…kudos for you…in fact, i salute you for the completion of such an important deed…i never did steal the sign, but i did manage to steal those big orange cones they put on the highway…hehe…makes me laugh just remembering when my friend and i stole it!!…haha…kept it in my dorm room…this guy i had the hugest crush on used to come in and pretend it was his penis and point it at me as i stood in my robe…(he had a way of coming over after i had finished showering)…o the naughty thoughts that raced through my head…i loved that cone!!!…

  7. February 1, 2008 11:03 PM

    lol @ afrobabe!!!streetsign….your are original 007!

  8. February 2, 2008 1:12 AM

    happy new month.. great blog.. check mine outwww.caramelchic.blogspot.com

  9. February 2, 2008 3:09 AM

    have you ever watched series called smallville….because it talks of cliptons

  10. February 2, 2008 3:34 PM

    You’re not just a klepto but a klepto with a conscience: you made sure it wasn’t a sign whose loss might endanger someone. (Also, I now understand why people do things like that—it’s all for the maniacal laughter, isn’t it? I always wondered why.)(Are you going to share the other things on your “before I turn 30” list? I think I need to make one of those.)

  11. February 3, 2008 11:29 PM

    u r a small thief. I love it though, such daring. I can imagine the adrenaline rush. So what are u going to do with the sign?

  12. February 4, 2008 12:57 AM

    Technically, if those street sign is on the ground, it’s there for the taken… No fault on you. I saw a sign with my name on it. I want it, but the pole is like 8 feet in the air. And I’m not really down to roll through that part of Compton on a regular to check for its dismemberment.

  13. February 4, 2008 3:57 AM

    LMAO!!!!!gosh i wish i did something like that… abeg it does not make you a klepto…. Love this story… sounds like me… 🙂 And love the blog layout!

  14. February 4, 2008 5:21 AM

    lol!! thats so crazy!!lmao!!is possible…you might be a kleptomanic

  15. February 4, 2008 5:56 AM

    u are a klepto.FULLSTOPhehehehehehehehnah girl-u was just having funcongrats on the successful completion of your assignment*wink*

  16. February 4, 2008 7:01 AM

    like most naughty things we do, there’s always that adrenalin pump! So unless u wish for it…I don’t see the ‘rush’ as a sign of more to come. :-)-Signed a fmr. Stealer.

  17. February 4, 2008 9:57 AM

    Ah, Rayo! Ole ni e!lol!On the real, I have spoken to someone whose responsibility it is to replace those signs and he was sooo pissed talking about how expensive it is and that their departments are all under budget and under pressure to keep up with stolen signs and other normal responsibilities of their job. I will be sure not to point him to your bloh. hahahaEveryone gets a rush when they do something naughty and succeed. It is only normal. Please beg your father not to be upset oh. You are only a klepto when you cannot control the urge. So, can you control your urge?

  18. February 4, 2008 10:07 AM

    i’m going to the efcc, abi na fbi?

  19. February 4, 2008 10:39 AM

    U really weird.What are u going to use the street thing for? This is really hilarious.I’m still pondering why u did that.Did I say ur act was hilarious? Sorry I made a mistake it’s a really a serious issue.That spirit of Kleptomania needs to be EXCORCISED.This post is funny and I’m still reeling with laughter hahahah.Tell me to stop before s0mething happens to me o.Lol!Nice blog definately gonna come back.

  20. February 4, 2008 10:42 AM

    That doesnt make you a klpeto in training (but na somewhere e dey start from, don’t mind me jare). But no do am again o, ‘cos you just never know where those hidden cameras might be.

  21. February 4, 2008 12:18 PM

    klepto huh?shopliffting and em right?well…i’ll stop typing now:)

  22. February 4, 2008 12:19 PM

    You see, that’s how it starts. Shora o!!

  23. February 4, 2008 5:47 PM

    my momma said she would get me out of jail for anything bust stealling nd rape

  24. February 4, 2008 6:55 PM

    WOW! that is my kindda thing right there. anyhow, i never got to do such a thing dot dot dot maybe one day dot dot dot was that in preparation for our pre-planned operation? you can imagine how much of a rush we will get from that one dot dot dot LOL!!!

  25. February 4, 2008 10:25 PM

    lol

  26. February 5, 2008 2:35 PM

    LMAO! Would have done anything to hear that laugh of yours.

  27. February 5, 2008 7:03 PM

    LMAO!!!!!!! Wey-rey!!!! You’re indeeeeed a klepto!!!!

  28. February 5, 2008 11:56 PM

    holla chica…wetin do you o? hope u dey ok dis one wey nobody hear ur typing for a while now, or u think say we no go notice? abeg show for area joo!!!

  29. February 6, 2008 5:55 AM

    i. feel. you. nothing like a rush for doing something naughty. that said, i doubt i would have had the guts!!!

  30. February 6, 2008 8:50 PM

    @GamineChic-Thank you thank you!@Afrobabe-Hehe you would’ve said “Ah ah…how did that get in my purse?” I remember one time when I was younger I stole lip gloss from the store and my mom threatened to call the police on me. Lmao!! I was scared for my life!! I never stole again (with the exception of my most recent adventure).@Sha-lol why’s it mad? It was one of my goals…I’m a very goal-oriented person so I had to do it.@IMHAM-Yes, a street sign.@eFJay-lol that’s what I like to hear!@Guerreiranigeriana-OMG!! I’ve actually done that before. There was a construction site near my school so I took one of the cones and started using it to “hold my parking spot” at my apartment.@Pink-satin-hehe yea…@caramel-Thanks, I’ll definitely do that.@Gerald-lol I’ve watched like one episode of that show in the 20 years (exaggeration alert!) that’s it’s been on air.@Gng-lol…I actually had the link to my list up for a while but then I removed it for some strange reason I can’t remember now.@Bubbles-I still haven’t decided what I’m going to do with the thing. It’s so huge though!@Marleaux-Really? Where did you read that? Compton + Nighttime sign theft-That would be an interesting cover story for the newspapers.@Honeywell-lol thanks. You should do it. I swear I still laugh when I think about it.@LMM-It just might…@Ibiluv-Thanks you@Yosh-Hahaha a fmr. stealer abi?? lol@Solomonsydelle-Lol thanks for covering for me. I had to tell my dad that I found it on the street and had forgotten to call the people to come and get it…then he went on some rant about how I would get arrested if the police suddenly raided our house (for apparently no reason) and found it.@Jinta-You wouldn’t dare!! I will blackmail you.@Today’s ranting-I honestly don’t know what I’m going to do with it. LMAO!! You’re funny@Rinsola-Lol I’ll be sure to remember that next time I steal a street sign@Toochi-Lmao!!! Wat??@Pixgremlin-lol ok@Torrance-Well then I guess she wouldn’t bail me out if they caught me then huh?@Incognaija-Clyde, you just gave me an excellent idea dotdotdot we can leave the sign at the scene of the crime dotdotdot you know, kinda like a signature dotdotdot but then they’d prolly figure out who it was, seeing that the sign has the name of my street on it dotdotdot@QOMC-Goodness, it was such a resounding laugh.@Azumi-I think I got it from you@Incog-lol I didn’t think you’d notice…ok, just for you I’ll come back@Onydchic-I didn’t think I could do it either…until I did it!

  31. February 6, 2008 10:02 PM

    Bonnie’s back o!!! oya, wey ur update?

  32. February 6, 2008 11:04 PM

    It’s currently in the works…you’ll be the first to know when I update.

  33. February 7, 2008 1:05 AM

    lmao Rayo iDon’t think you’re a klepto because it was only done ONCE-iHope….hahhah @—–> and something told you to “DO it now!!!”comment about Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie—-have you read her “Half of a Yellow Sun?” that book is awesome man…it will take you less than a week to read it…..later

  34. February 7, 2008 1:06 AM

    ps. I’m stealing you’re live traffic feed hahhah

  35. February 7, 2008 5:26 AM

    CRAZY STUFF

  36. February 7, 2008 6:01 AM

    Rayo, Laff well at me oooh. It wasn’t funny then though.See how you have congregated kleptos at your blog…lol

  37. February 7, 2008 9:27 AM

    ok! afrobabe steals panties (kai!) atleast she fit wear am. but you, u steal road sign, wetin u wan use am do?the adrenaline thingie happens when we stretch ourselves…e be like sey u dey watch too many thrillers. lol!!how u dey?

  38. February 7, 2008 1:05 PM

    @Neef-no, I still haven’t read it. It’s been of my to-read list for a while though@Andy-Reminds me of that song “The freaks come out at night”….”The kleptos come out at night.”@Isi-lmao!! I don’t think I’ll ever do anything with it. I’m good…I’ve finally updated.How are you?

  39. February 7, 2008 1:52 PM

    U r a pant. I am not getting in that car again. I am sure the FBI has run your plates before. CRIMINAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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