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A New Breed of Nigerian Chemical Users (pls ooo don’t take this post seriously)

January 19, 2008
So I made a post about two (or one….or three) days ago about my boss’s “accident” with liquid nitrogen. Since then I have received several (and by several, I mean two so far lol) requests from “certain” male bloggers for liquid nitrogen. I’m sorry ooo but I am not a chemical smuggler nor am I a dealer of such substances. What exactly would you be doing with liquid nitrogen? Ehn?? Don’t you know that it is a dangerous chemical meant only exclusively for use within the scientific community? Do you want your arm to be frozen off too? Please oo, don’t get me involved in your foolish shenanigans. I am but an innocent child. I DO NOT WANT TO BE GUILTY!!! Don’t ever speak to me again. Ma’fact, I am deleting you from my blog-list. Ehn? Me! Smuggle liquid nitrogen. A WHOLE ME!!

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Ok…I think the FBI has stopped reading this post now…..

Here’s what will happen:

  1. Send me a message if you are interested in receiving some of the aforementioned liquid nitrogen (code word: “cold water”). Send me an email or leave a very incognito comment explaining why you need the “cold water” and what you would be using it for.
  2. Because I am not one to judge people, I will simply smile and nod at your ‘reason for request.’
  3. I will contact you at a later date about when and where the goods will be sent, costs and compensation, insurance in case of “accidents,” etc.
  4. When you receive the package, be sure to follow the arrow on the box that says “this side up,” your life depends on it.
  5. Once the transaction is complete and I receive the full payment, we shall never speak of this again. Do you understand? Ehn?? Do you understand???

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20 Comments leave one →
  1. January 20, 2008 12:41 AM

    Cold water yea? i will like to hear a good non-industrial reason to want to purchase this “cold water” lol!!

  2. January 20, 2008 12:31 PM

    Lol…see how they’ve now gone into hiding…

  3. January 20, 2008 7:56 PM

    can you imagine? ehn, does your mother know that you are now peddling “cold water”?

  4. January 21, 2008 2:23 PM

    what if the arrow was pointing the wrong way? a defect in packaging or something?

  5. January 21, 2008 4:21 PM

    Catwalq…ah ah now. Why bring mama Rayo into the equation? Plus why does she need to know I am peddling “cold water?” Shebi na just pure water I dey peddle?Jinta, there is a 1 in 2 billion chance that there would be a defect in the packaging (trust me, I calculated the statistics). You see, because I do the packaging, and because it has been proven that I am 99.98 percent perfect, there is only a .02 percent chance that I will do something wrong…. πŸ™‚

  6. January 21, 2008 5:44 PM

    okay… when i started reading your post, fear grip me, i thought you had drank some of that liquid juice….anyways, i feel like a little cold juice, i wanna experiment with it, i know its extremely dangerous, thats why i want it…look my friend, just mail me the darn thing….aiight, meanwhile, whats ur account number sef

  7. January 21, 2008 5:54 PM

    *smile and nod*You need my account number so that you can transfer some money there, right? In that case it’s 059-68…wait a second…

  8. January 22, 2008 4:54 AM

    Rayo….I need cold water….my throat is dry and parched from the harmattan in Nigeria…how soon can you get it here?wink wink…thanks for stopping by…

  9. January 22, 2008 5:17 AM

    lol!!! what do those bloggers need the em ‘cold water’ for sef…me i dnt need it oh…a klutz like me will probably drink it…forgetting that it was em ‘cold water’like ur profile pic…seksy…nice eyes!

  10. January 22, 2008 10:53 AM

    okay…. pleaseeeeeeeeee…..give me cold water ohhhh

  11. January 22, 2008 11:41 AM

    @ SIMTO-Oh no, the harmattan can be quite harsh ehn? Don’t worry, the power of “cold water” will quelch your parched throat. All I need is the moolah, the cash, the dough. Eh…email me your account information. I promise I won’t take too much :)@ (Still a)schoolnerd lol That would be a dire mistake oo. I’ll make sure to never pour you a glass of liqu…eh…cold water. @ Anu-chei! See addiction. Oya, how much do you need? A quart, a gallon…?

  12. January 23, 2008 9:49 AM

    Will be right back!

  13. January 23, 2008 11:55 AM

    Cold water, kei? You MUST have been reminiscing about drinking Garri and Kuli-kuli with cold water during harmattan season… πŸ™‚

  14. January 23, 2008 3:45 PM

    Yes!!! Finally we have caught her…..the business mogul distributing the liquid stuff. We would want you to report to the nearest police station right now. If you don’t, our men will swoop down on you right away, your accounts, credit cards and everything linked to you would be dealt with.From the FBI (in conjunction with the CIA).

  15. January 23, 2008 5:14 PM

    in a plastic bag i bet. lol. just stumbled here, hope u dont mind and do feel free to chk me out one day if u can

  16. January 24, 2008 11:16 AM

    @Jaybabe-Still waiting…@Aworan-lol exactly!! “omi tutu re e oo!!”@Andy-Oh goodness, uh…oh no!! You see…ehm…it wasn’t me! I promise it wasn’t me! *starts running*@ Torrance-Thanks for visiting my blog. I will definitely check out your blog.

  17. January 25, 2008 8:41 AM

    i want a gallon of it….

  18. January 25, 2008 1:13 PM

    Anu, Anu, ANU!! How many times did I call you??A whole gallon? Are you an addict or are you an addict?…but wait, I said I wouldn’t judge anyone so…*smile and nod*

  19. January 30, 2008 2:38 PM

    LMAO…so the FBI dont read that far abi….

  20. January 30, 2008 9:04 PM

    Apparently they do…see Andy’s comment.

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