I’ve never played Grand Theft Auto…never even seen a demo of it. But I imagine that the way people drive in this country is comparable to someone driving a stolen car during a high speed police chase. Driving through the market just now, the driver knocked off another vehicle’s mirror and nobody even reacted. Also passed an upturned oil tanker and still, people have decided that the best thing to do is drive toward oncoming traffic.

*sigh*

What is the rush, people??? Chill out and enjoy the hazy, polluted skyline for a change.
….

It’s still hot as hell. Thankfully, though, it’s not as bad as it was yesterday. I’m soooo ready to leave Ibadan and go to Lagos. Despite the fact that I grew up here, everyone I know is in Lagos.

…that is all.

The Saint Valentine’s Day massacre is the name given to the murder of seven people as part of a prohibition era conflict between two powerful criminal gangs in Chicago, in 1929: the South Side Italian gang led by Al Capone and the North Side Irish gang led by Bugs Moran. Former members of the Egan’s Rats gang were also suspected to have played a large role in the St. Valentine’s Day massacre, assisting Capone. Capone might have ordered it after Bugs’ gang machine-gunned Al Capone’s headquarters.

Click here for more info

Source: Wikipedia.org

Image courtesy of A Softer World

Here are my new “babies.”

These have been around the house for years and I’m working to rejuvenate them.

This is fake….but I liked it so I bought it…along with the painting.

The identical ones are African Violets and you basically have to treat them like babies, which is really annoying. The red orchids are (very) fake.

The bulb in the middle will grow to look like this:

Image courtesy of The Fun Times Guide

Some more….

I even sewed curtains for the door windows because of the fabric’s flower patterns.

So who else out there has a green thumb?

*woosah*

But I digress.

I noticed that two personal trainers showed up for the “casting call,” as I call it, and I wasn’t shocked at all. After observing the personal trainers that I know, I’ve noticed that they prefer bigger women. I’m not complaining but seeing that their line of work involves helping people to attain the perfect body one would assume that they’d be attracted to someone that’s physically fit. Or could it just be that they view their women as a personal project that they could “sculpt to perfection?” I hope that’s not the case.

I have several theories but I want to hear what you guys have to say about this….why do you think personal trainers love bigger women?

Sidenote: After watching the rest of the episode I wanted to slap this woman (the plus-size chick)!!!! What the f-ing hell is her problem??? She gave the guy a handjob in the restaurant even after he told her that he wasn’t attracted to her!!! Okay, Patti can go ahead and rain all the insults she wants on her, I’ll make an exception on this one.

Because I love yall so much…I took the time to outline certain guidelines to make ur twitter experience worthwhile…pls if you do not have a sense of humour I would advise u to stop here and go and pick a copy of ‘omo getto’ I think that would be worth ur while..but if you do pls go on…feel free to LOL,ROTFLYAO…let laugh tear your yansh and belle sef…whish one consign me… and refer to your friends.

If you tweet like a retard e.g:

@shallypumping : whats pumping shally shallz I what to knows if I have a follow from you back

Or

I rEaLlY nEeD mOrE fOlLowErS oN tWiTtEr CaUsE I Am NeW

Now twitter is a lot like high school, lez not lie… so yeah people will automatically think u are retarded …u will be segregated like a diseased baboon for such behavior..never to be taken seriously… from ur twitter handle will spring up many TT’s and *cough* voicenotes…I advise u to go back to facebook where they accept you for who u are. Harsh but true.i am ur friend,no one else will tell u diz

Twitter is not facebook. On facebook you send a request and if the person knows u or likes u or whatever crazy reason people accept facebook requests these days they accept. Twitter is not like that.Its a micro blogging site, where crazy people like me with too many thoughts in their head..get release thru 140characters.Now you meet other crazy folks. You like their tweets,people RT their stuff u follow them…ok rewind..YOU like their tweets YOU YOU YOU..their tweets are funny crazy ,mad whatever and it’s the kinda stuff u wanna be seeing everytime u log into twitter.so you follow them…they don’t have to follow back.Its not a courtesy thing, its not facebook…they follow u back if they want to…do not take it personal. The earlier u realize this the better ur tweeting experience.

Do not tweet at foreign celebrities….STOP IT! Unless u are me tweeting at drake. ..u wont understand. I had a vision from God about him and I, I wont go into the details…but there are children in our future sha.. if u like be yimu-ing there. You on the other hand telling ‘Kim Kardashian’ –Good morning dear ..er..una know from primary school?…. People run from tweeps who exhibit such deluded behavior..stop it! There’s a lot more chance of u stumbling on a pot of gold at the end of a rainbow than receiving a reply.

People will follow u if u are funny, witty, clever yada yada yada …..now if u are not blessed with the funny bone…people notice when u are trying too hard. Contrary to popular belief one yellow bar doesn’t equal a one inch growth of ur penis, boobs or ass… cause if it did…I should be sporting some mad ass badoinkadoink (pun intended o jare)

Know the difference between a TYPO and a GBAGAUN cause once people notice u are one of those who cant differentiate btw em, u just wanna RT and add gbagaun with the hopes of getting a non orgasm giving yellow bar.You will not get a follow back.

E.G I think I looj funny in this dress ….this is not a GBAGAUN its a TYPO …doesn’t take a rocket scientist to know that

But if they tweet

I look funny in this dresses —–> Oya collect one orgasm.

If all you do is add a LOL here, a GBAM there.. a COSIGN sometimes.. and maybe, just maybe someone types OLEKU …oh boy Christmas is early… u get to add ….’tell me something wey I no fit do’ ..if that is all you do…. You don’t tweet any interesting shit, ER…why exactly should anybody follow you? To be nice? I hear they r being nice on HI5… u can go there for ur daily dose of niceness.

Do not crash people’s tweet convo’s …. Ok lets say I am tweeting at someone who totally understands my sense of humour.. lets say STEWIE… and I say “that threesome we had with Elijah was awesome..i cant walk properly” and you from the Mushin side of twittville will now retweet and add ‘Gosh u r such a fucking disgrace’ n u r not joking..even if u are…its not ur business…this incident happened in the lekki side of twittville oh..doesnt concern your mushin ass..u don’t even know what they are tweeting about…don’t do it!

Now what might be acceptable is adding a LOL…to a retweet that doesn’t really concern u…maybe its just really funny..but do not insult, if u do not know.

If you want a follow back… do not type ‘now ff so so and so pls ff back’ me I am just trying to help u sha…u can tell the person u are ff but cut the ‘pls follow back shit’…u r following because u find the person’s tweets interesting..give the person a reason to follow u back. heres what u can do..you can tweet at the person every now and then…retweet their tweets and add funny comments and when the person is sure you are not a psychotic attention seeking boring serial gbagauner just looking for trouble on the net I am sure they will follow back and if they don’t…u have the choice to unfollow.Easy as ABC!

A lot of people left facebook for twitter cause they wanted a place where they can express themselves without being judged …so prepare to be shocked by tweets…make sure u don’t carry ur facebook behavior here and start criticizing everybody cause of their tweets cause u will be told to go to hell in ways u never thought were possible, after which u will be blocked.
Know who you can joke with… u just followed someone and u are already calling em a ‘fool’….yeah u say u are joking…but they wont take it that way cause frankly they don’t know u like that…that’s what they call ‘familiarity’ ..it can also be known as FAMZING…run from famzing…RUN!!!! Run from that evil demonic behavior known as ‘famzing’ that makes u tweet at dbanj and call him dapedo (a variation of dapo) when ur foolish self doesn’t know him from adam..RUN!!!!!!

Lastly, please take the time to google the word ‘OPINION’ ….if someone tweets … “ I think avatar was a very senseless movie and a waste of money” and they tweet this from their account…it is obviously their opinion and you know what they say about opinions… why then will you come and start shining muscle on the person’s tweet. Yeah YOU think avatar is the greatest movie ever..YOUR OPINION…do not attack someone cause of what they think about something.

Brothers and Sisters of tweetville… if u read these guidelines and tweet by them…you are sure to have fun everytime u log into twitter…believe that.

May God bless u as u tweet with sense.

“Once the fourth-largest metropolis in America—some have called it the Death of the American Dream. Today, the young people of the Motor City are making it their own DIY paradise where rules are second to passion and creativity. They are creating the new Detroit on their own terms, against real adversity. We put our boots on and went exploring.” — Palladium Boots

My favorite quote from the film comes from Mr. Larry Mongo at the end of Part 3: “Remember, Rome was sacked how many times? Berlin was bombed. Cities have always gone down but for some reason cities come back. And it’s people who bring them back.” I hope you guys feel as inspired as I am now after watching this series.

Detroit Lives documentary film featuring Johnny Knoxville. Host Johnny Knoxville puts on his boots and explorers a side of Detroit hidden in plain sight and rarely shown by mainstream media.